micah holmquist's irregular thoughts and links
Welcome to the musings and notes of a Cadillac, Michigan based writer named Micah Holmquist, who is bothered by his own sarcasm.
Please send him email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Holmquist's full archives are listed here.
Sites Holmquist trys, and often fails, to go no more than a couple of days without visiting (some of which Holmquist regularly swipes links from without attribution)
Blogs that for one reason or another Holmquist would like to read on at least something of a regular basis (always in development)
Monday, November 17, 2003
By Max Standard
Last night I had the pleasure of watching a CBS News report featuring footage of one of our brave fighting men in Iraq yelling "Open the fucking door” before he kicked in the door to a room full of women who were hiding weapons of mass destruction, making anti-coalition statements or engaging in some other equally terroristic activity.
Actually, truth be told, I don’t know for certain that this Real American Hero said those words. A sound was bleeped for the protection of viewers like Max Standard Jr. so it is possible that he actually yelled, “Open the shitting door” or even “open the Goddamning door.”
The exact words aren’t important. What is important is just how polite this member of The Greatest Military God Has Ever Seen was. You can bet your bottom dollar that when the terrorists won’t bother to scream the Arabic equivalent of “open the fucking door” when they decide to barrage into your home in Georgia or Montana. No sirree, they will come right in and they won’t even be justified in doing it.
The segment reminded me of the greatest television show ever, Cops. The late 1980s and early 1990s weren’t all about great shows like Major Dad as we have come to think them. No that was the time of The Ben Stiller Show and The Simpsons. Vile anti-American propaganda that should have been silenced but luckily was ignored by the American public and thus forced to live in obscurity. Cops, on the other hand, remains on the air and continues to be loved by millions of Americans who enjoy good quality wholesome family entertainment about the true stories of the men who work tirelessly to keep us safe from criminals.
Over the years I’ve thought Cops should expand to other potentially great programs like Executioners and Death Squads, but last night it became crystal clear to me that what we really need is Troops. A program about those soldiers who were each day and night to keep us free. Oh sure the footage but might not be quite what it was in the good old days (then again), but it could still be highly entertaining and will no doubt better prepare the young people of tomorrow for defending their country, something the liberals are working hard to prevent.
Max Standard is an important intellectual who always tells the pro-American truth. His piece "My first, and perhaps only, report as The Shadow of the 21st century" appeared in the November 12 edition of this blog.