micah holmquist's irregular thoughts and links
Welcome to the musings and notes of a Cadillac, Michigan based writer named Micah Holmquist, who is bothered by his own sarcasm.
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Blogs that for one reason or another Holmquist would like to read on at least something of a regular basis (always in development)
Saturday, June 07, 2003
Hicks died in 1994, which is too bad because if he had lived till now he would have seen the government get even greater. Yes, despite the existence of fine instigators of laughter like Carrot Top and Dennis Miller, it is the government that has become the greatest humorist of the time.
Anybody who has studied the amazing career of Bob Hope knows are fighting men and women are a tough act to entertain. It isn't enough to tell a few corny jokes and then trot out Ann Margaret or John Wayne. No the soldiers who protect our freedom demand quality entertainment, which makes it all the more impressive how funny Vice President Dick Cheney was last Saturday when he spoke at U.S. Military Academy Commencement:
Wherever you are posted, wherever your career leads you, I trust you will always remember how others see the uniform of the United States. Your service might take you to the most stable place in the quietest of times, but that uniform is a reminder of what assures stability and keeps the peace. At other times, your service may take you to dangerous places; and there, the sight of an American in uniform will bring fear to the violent and hope to the oppressed.And with that the crowd was literally in stitches. True I can't find any record of the cadets needing stitches, or even laughing at the remarks, but it must have happened. I mean this was less than two weeks after the U.S. military began working with the government of Sudan, which isn't widely known as a haven for freedom, and just three days before the President George W. Bush met with President Mubarak of Egypt, another country that isn't generally considered "free." Surely these brave and intelligent soldiers are buying the idea that they are a "hope to the oppressed" around the world. Surely they realize how crazy that idea is and were violently laughing when the Vice President said something so ridiculous.
Of course the Bush Administration isn’t just a bunch of clowns. They know that some actions, such as Operation Tribute to Freedom, deserve to be treated the utmost seriousness. "Operation Tribute to Freedom will be a sustained and widespread program of activities in appreciation for our men and women in uniform and the families that support them," reads the homepage of what Denise Brown of the American Forces Press Service has called "[t]he Pentagon's latest military operation." In the press release announcing the operation, Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Victoria Clarke saying, “In the coming days, weeks, and months, Americans across the country will have the opportunity to participate in nationwide and local efforts to thank returning servicemembers for defending freedom around the world."
The most important aspect of Operation Tribute to Freedom is not that it gives us an opportunity to thank our brave fighting men and women -we were already doing that- but that it makes it clear that all hawkish commentators, people who call in to agree with radio talk show hosts and just plain decent people who think it is "evil" to stand by if President Bush has suggested action are part of an Operation in the War on Terror. They are freedom fighters of the highest order!
What I would really like to see is for Bush is to combine the comic and the serious, channel some of the energy of Hicks in a badly lit club full of his team, smoke and booze and go on a rant. "How fucking stupid are these people who think I'm going to bring 'peace' to the Middle East?" I imagine Bush ranting. "Have they read the goddamn 'Roadmap'? It doesn't lead anywhere but more negations, and that's only if the Palestinians and all the other countries in the region do as we say. Of course that's nothing strange as the Iraqis are finding out. We will give the Iraqis control of Iraq when we are goddamn good and ready and not a second before they do everything we want them to do! And what sort of intellect does it take to actually believe any of that shit about freedom? Fucking idiots one and all I tell you. Of course it doesn't matter if someone does try to tell the truth. Yeah they can rail against me all they and encourage others to do so in the parlance of today but it won't make a fucking bit of difference. Here are the rules... If they are dishonest, my opponents get their ass handed to them. If I am dishonest, NOBODY FUCKING CARES!!! NO WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION, NO BIG DEAL!!!! WHY? I'M FUCKING GEORGE W. GODDAMN BUSH AND THOSE ASSHOLES BEST LEARN TO ACCEPT IT!!!"