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Welcome to the musings and notes of a Cadillac, Michigan based writer named Micah Holmquist, who is bothered by his own sarcasm. Please send him email at micahth@chartermi.net. Holmquist's full archives are listed here.
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Tuesday, March 11, 2003
Liberate Canada By Max Standard Liberating the people of Iraq through bombs is going to be lots of fun. Don't get me wrong. I am "hoping and praying for peace," but I am also really looking forward to watching us liberating Iraq on my new big screen t.v. that will be glued to the Fox New Channel, unless of course one of those wonderful new MSNBC hires is on. Once we get done with Iraq, however, it is important that we neither lose momentum nor stop playing "Have You Forgotten?" We need to move quickly to take care of the next big enemy in the world - Canada, a country so notorious for human rights abuses that the equally notoriously left wing and anti-American organizations Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch both have pages on the human rights abuses in Canada. In a world full of countries like Kuwait and Saudi Arabia, it is reasonable to ask, "Why Canada?" My research indicates that I have not heard about Canada going out of its way to support the War On Terror, which means, according to President Bush, that the Cannucks "are with the terrorists." Canada also is quite near to the U.S. and could easily attack us. They seem bent on something called "Canadian World Domination" through their communistic health care system and attempt to ruin the America lumber industry. Some possibly well-meaning but usefully idiotic people will ask, "Where's the proof?" To them I ask, where was was the proof of September 11? We will find the proof once we take over Canada and liberate the Canucks. We will then see that they are behind Axis of Evil countries like Iran, Iraq, North Korea and France. Canada isn't going to just give out this information but I have no doubt that once we gain control we will see that Canadian Prime Minister Joseph Jacques Jean Chrétien is really the secret force behind al Qaeda and other anti-American terrorist groups. We will find the proof that they are building Weapons of Mass Destruction to destroy America with. You just wait. All the proof will be in their archives. Of course supporters of Chrétien will follow up their support of Saddam by calling for appeasement. They will say it is enough to sanction Canada and bomb our treacherous northern neighbors on a daily basis. These communist anti-American appeasers are only supporting the further enslavement of the Canucks! They have blood on their hands and need to take responsibility for their actions. If Canada does attack us they will be responsible the death of many Americans. Canada, like Iraq, is just waiting to attack us. We have to stop them! Don't these appeasers remember the brave fire fighters who gave their lives so that others could live on September 11? How could they forget the most tragic day in the history of the world? The only explanation is that they haven't forgotten but rather want another September 11 so they can listen to Martha & the Vandellas again. Michael Savage is right. These Canadian appeasers need to be locked up for sedition! May God Bless America and May America Liberate Canada! Max Standard is an important intellectual who always tells the pro-American truth. His essay "Yeah for war!" appeared in the January edition of this blog. UPDATE BY MAX STANDARD: There can be no more doubt that Canada is the enemy! Swift Action is needed! No more Molson with you Freedom Fries! Instead of "canadian bacon," eat Liberty Swine! Tell those geese to stay in their own miserabel country! And of course don't watch another Mike Meyers movie! 1:12 a.m. 03/13/03 |