micah holmquist's irregular thoughts and links
Welcome to the musings and notes of a Cadillac, Michigan based writer named Micah Holmquist, who is bothered by his own sarcasm.
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Wednesday, December 25, 2002
We should have guns. The towelheads shouldn’t. (A Christmas shopping story that can now be told.)
On Monday I went to Jay’s Sporting Goods in Clare, Michigan to get a monocular to give to my dad for Christmas. When I called them in the morning I was told they only had one monocular left and so I had it put on reserve.
Jay’s is a large store with everything you could need that goes along with fishing, guns and hunting. Apparently all items on reserve at Jay’s are in the gun department and in order to pick up an item you have to wait in the same line as the people who want to look at the handguns. The white male in front of me was slender guy who looked to be in his thirties and wore a ponytail and a thick black beard. He wore leather boots, camouflage pants, an Operation Desert Storm sweatshirt and a National Rifle Association baseball cap. Because I have a thrill seeking side, I engaged the guy and the following is my notes on our conversation.
Me: So what’d you think we should do about Saddam [Hussein]?
Him: Bomb the hell out of ‘em!
Me: Is more than one bomb really needed? I mean he is only one guy.
Him: No Iraq.
Me: May I ask why?
Him: They want to kill us!
Me: Really? How many Americans has Iraq killed over the last 12 years or so? The number is barely in the hundreds even if you count the Gulf War and the U.S. has killed many more Iraqis through bombings, sanctions and turkey shoots. Maybe Iraq should…
Him: Where the fuck did you get that idea?
Me: Oh I don’t know. I guess that instead of killing innocent animals and humans, I like to read.
Him: I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. Saddam wants weapons of mass destruction and he’ll use them!
Me: The U.S. has used weapons of mass destruction. Should we be bombed…
Him: That was different.
Me: How so?
Him: That was World War II.
Me: Would it have been less justifiable in World War I?
Him: [Shakes his head. Raises his voice.] If we let Saddam get those weapons he will kill us.
Me: O.K. I guess we will have to agree to disagree on this. By the way, I noticed your hat. I assume you are opposed gun control.
Him: It is my Second Amendment right to own a gun.
Me: Don’t you think that the U.S. denying Iraq the right to weapons of mass destruction when it has such weapons itself is a form of gun control? If you really believe in the right to bear arms, it would seem that you would believe that Iraq has the right to bear arms like the U.S. does.
At this point my friend shook his head and turned around in a clear sign that he was done with the conversation. At that point I realized that there were three others guys staring at with looks of pure hate as they waited in a line in a store that doesn’t exactly sell tofu. “I want to get out of here,” I thought to myself even as I continued to wait in line. “I hope they aren’t packing.”