Sites Holmquist trys, and often fails, to go no more than a couple of days without visiting (some of which Holmquist regularly swipes links from without attribution)
I don’t intend for this blog to continue to become as focused on my personal life at micahth.diaryland.com often did but I do feel like tying up a loose end RE thealchemist who I lasted mentioned on April 5.
Since then I have been in contact with thealchemist a few times and I’m not going to get into the details of those conversations or the particulars of how they come about but last night I had what I presume will be my last conversation with her ever. I finally told her most, although not all, of what I’ve felt and how I don’t want to live with this situation unresolved, and that as far as I’m concerned the situation will be unresolved so long as there is the possibility of her calling me out of the blue like she did early Monday afternoon. I accept a lot of the blame for this situation but I am not the only one at fault here and so I am not going to beat myself up about it regardless of whether or not thealchemist recognizes her role. It is unfortunate that this happened but it did. I couldn't deal with the situation and so I needed to end it.
Things did end on about as good of a note as could be expected, however. I told thealchemist that I was really glad I had met her and that I’d wished her the best. She seconded my thoughts. My last words to her were “enjoy life.”
thealchemist told me to “take care” and with that it was done.
If I could tell her one more thing, I would say I love her very much and probably always will. But even that doesn't express how I really feel.
I'm an accident I was driving way too fast Couldn't stop though So I let the moment last I'm for rollin' I'm for tossin' in my sleep It's not guilt though It's not the company I keep
